The Day I Had a Stroke (part 1)

It was the beginning of June and the start of fantastic weather, an indicator of what lied ahead for summer. I had had a great week hanging out with friends and finally being able to wear a dress. The weather here is usually unforgiving. Monday night came, I was doing what I usually do, chatting on the computer. I sent out three tweets as jokes, “I think I just ate myself into a diabetic.” (11:39pm), “I’m going through M&M withdrawal. Someone strap me to a bed.” (12:16am) and “My body hurts. I think my blood has been replaced by chocolate.” (1:04am). Not knowing then that what was most likely happening was that I was having a TIA. When I said that my body hurt, it did. I was in a lot of pain which lasted most of the night. The most alarming thing though was how my leg went numb. I brushed everything off and told myself that I would see a doctor in the morning if anything persisted. I could have never imagined what was about to happen.

I was feeling fine the next day and decided to swear off chocolate for awhile. My parents were both home for lunch and left. I still sitting at the kitchen table 20mins later and had an incredible headache. I can’t even legitimately call it a headache. I was sure something exploded inside my head. It was intense, like a shot gun, but then it went silent. My leg like the night before went numb. I called my mom at work asking her to come home. This time it wasn’t the same, I new that. Standing with the phone, my legs started to give out so I called the Ambulance and sat down.

It felt like hours before anyone arrived but eventually the EMS, paramedics and my mom were surrounding me. My leg at this point was lifeless. It looked broken in its placement. My arm too created a limp handshake. After too many questions, I was loaded into the Ambulance. Sometime later, the paramedic told me we were at the hospital; I passed out.


It’s weird being in my room and actually looking around for the first time. I see my life stopped, the last 2 ½ months erased and confusion over the feeling that something has changed. I know that I’ve changed, but how? Will I ever truly know, outside of my obvious disabilities? I don’t want to go back to the place I was before. I don’t want to remember that time. As strange as it is, for the first time since I graduated high school, I have clarity. I have purpose.

I’ve Been Away

Hey, everyone,

For the past month I’ve been in the hospital, so I haven’t been posting. I’m still here and I’m not sure how long I’ll be. I’ll be sure to update as soon as I get a chance. Then explain things of course.

If I can update Twitter, I’ll do that.

Don’t forget about me!



I Write Poetry in My Sleep

I had another fantastic dream a couple of nights ago. I don’t remember many details, but I was lucky enough to wake up afterward to write some crazy things down.

The dream was weaving in and out of storylines, but I remember being in Uni and discovering that my friend M. was my twin. This discovery made my heart explode with joy and lead me to tell literally everyone in my dream the news. It also lead to the obvious idea of moving in together because we had so much catching up to do like play games, bake cookies and talk about how awesome it is that we are related. I’m not sure that he was as onboard with our twinness as I was because we got in a fight and he said he didn’t want to be my twin anymore, which I had to explain it wasn’t an option we are FAMILY. So, he moved out.Read More »

Ambiguous Agreement

I have this cousin (as I’m sure many of you have) who is a bit on the crazy side. He’s not crazy in a mentally ill kind of way, (although debatable) he is crazy in the he parties more than any normal human being should kind of way. The party starts at the break of dawn for him and ends whenever and wherever he happens to pass out.

Being that I am close with my family and that he is a people person, I am usually invited to get the crazy on with him. Generally I decline as my favourite late nights consist of a book, a cup of tea, my dog and me (my cool factor just exploded, I know). My world has been turned upside down though because I agreed to do something with him on Saturday. It involves a demolition derby, drinking before noon and some people I’m related to. That’s all I know.Read More »